Personal Grooming for the Workplace

Start here First day at a five-star hotel. A 19-year-old stands proudly at the front desk in a crisp white coat. The manager walks in, looks at him and says, “Get out. Go and shave.” This is how Prof. Shiva learned what grooming really means.

This lecture is a conversation between three people: Prof. Shiva Subramaniam, Prof. Sivakumar M S and Lt Col Jayakumar.

Nobody teaches grooming in college or at work. Everyone assumes you already know it. Yet people judge us by it all the time.

It is not just looking good. How you look comes from your mind, from how you choose to present yourself.

Prof. Sivakumar’s habits as a teacher for 35 years:

• When someone visits his office, he greets them (“Good morning”), makes them comfortable, gets them seated and listens eagerly.
• In class, he makes eye contact with every student, so each one feels welcome.
• He dresses properly. He would never teach in shorts. Students expect someone who will give them something useful.
• He pauses to ask for feedback: “Have you understood? Any doubts?”
• Students remember him for his smile. It helps them feel comfortable talking to him.

Keywords: empathy, caring how others see you, your own dress code, making people comfortable.

Lt Col Jayakumar shares an old Hindi couplet. In English, its meaning is:

A teacher is like a potter, and the student is the pot. The potter keeps pointing out faults and taps the clay from the outside. People passing by think he is being cruel. But they can’t see that his other hand is inside, gently supporting the pot.

Grooming, in the army or in a company, is about shaping people from many backgrounds into one team. That is why companies like TCS and L&T run induction programmes.

“If you take care of time, place and dress, half the job is done,” says the Colonel. The other half is your knowledge, and how you share it:

If you are late, you waste everyone else’s time. It shows you don’t respect it. If you are late, say sorry and explain briefly: “I’m sorry, I was held up.” Words like “sorry” and “excuse me” matter. Very few people do this.

In one line: Right time, right place, right dress, then be accurate, brief and clear. Exam words: personal grooming, social adjustment, three Rs, ABC (accurate, brief, clear), punctuality, empathy.

Lecture example — “Go and shave” At 19, Prof. Shiva got a night-shift job at the front desk of the Taj hotel in Chennai. On day one, the manager walked in at 9:15 p.m. and said, “Get out from the counter. Go and shave.” He said he had shaved. The manager said, “Don’t argue. Go.” He found a barber who was closing his shop and got a shave. On day three, at 3 a.m., the same manager saw his top button open. “This is not your house. Put on your buttons.” A week later the manager explained: “The first person a guest sees is you, not the managing director. A tired guest just off a long flight wants to see a pleasant face. If you haven’t shaved or don’t smile, it shows you don’t care about him. You represent this hotel.”

Lesson: Every profession has its own rules. Find out what your profession expects. In hospitality, you can’t say “my shift is over” when a guest walks in at 6:30. You stay and check them in.

Lecture example — who sits in front Prof. Shiva’s father worked at HAL (Hindustan Aeronautics Limited). One day, a manager was giving his parents a lift. His father sat in front, and his mother got in at the back. The manager refused to drive: “I am not your driver. Your wife should sit in front.”

Lecture example — the midnight call As an adviser, Prof. Sivakumar got a call at 12:30 a.m. from a disturbed student. He went to meet the student at the bus stop and listened. That care is also part of grooming.

You will move between jobs, cities and countries, and between a party and a funeral on the same day. How do you adjust?

1. Learn from people around you. At a funeral, watch how your parents speak and behave. At a doctor’s clinic, Prof. Sivakumar got bored waiting and arranged the messy footwear neatly at the door. After that, everyone who came in placed their footwear neatly too. Grooming begets grooming. It spreads like a ripple. Be a role model, or find one.
2. Change your behaviour to suit the person. You speak differently to an elder, a child, a lady, your boss and your juniors.
3. Have a hunger to learn. Accept that there is always more to learn: customs, traditions, table manners (many kinds of forks, spoons and glasses). Even the Colonel says he hasn’t learned it all.
4. Mind the details.
   • Handshake: not a crushing grip, not a weak, limp one. It should feel warm. Adjust it for a child, an elderly person or a lady.
   • Be presentable from head to toe: shirt colour, trousers, sleeve length, shoes, haircut, shave. In the army, officers sometimes shave twice a day, at 4:30 a.m. for PT and again for an evening dinner.
   • Smile. “One smile and your job is done.”
5. Use structure. A shoe rack at the door tells guests to leave their footwear there without a word. A coat hanger works the same way. Structure guides behaviour.

Prof. Shiva practises grooming at home every day:

• He says “thank you” to his wife when she serves him food, and to the cook when the cook leaves.
• He says “sorry” when he interrupts his son, or when he makes extra mess for the house help.
• He asks, not orders: “Is it okay for you to make something extra?”
• He puts on a decent shirt before opening the door for a delivery person. He greets him: “Hello, how are you? Is it raining?”
• In Tamil Nadu, he has found that one magic question is “Have you eaten?” People’s faces light up when you ask it.

Personal grooming is about caring. Practise it at home first, and it becomes part of you.

Everyday example Before an online interview: wear a clean, plain shirt (right dress), join 5 minutes early (right time), sit in a quiet, tidy spot (right place), smile, and answer briefly and clearly (ABC).

In one line: Grooming is caring for others through how you look, speak and act. Learn it from role models, practise it at home, and keep improving. Exam words: grooming begets grooming, role model, table manners, handshake, presentable, structure, caring, awareness, sober, healthy competition, fairness, sincerity, sense of humour.