The 6R Framework for Emotional Resilience

Start here Your heart beats fast before a presentation. Your mind goes blank. Your hands shake. Is something wrong with you? No — your brain thinks it’s an emergency. The 6R framework helps you take back control.

Emotional resilience is the ability to handle emotions and bounce back. The lecture gives a 6-step framework to build it.

Identify and recognise your emotions and their triggers (what caused them).

• As children, we don’t know our emotions well. As we grow, we start to notice them.
• Often we just ignore, suppress or bury them. That doesn’t help.
• In yourself: notice your body language and body sensations.
• In others: read their non-verbal cues and body language. Notice the difference between what is said and what is really meant or felt.
• Different people feel different emotions about the same person or situation, because of their past, background and personality.

Questions to ask yourself:

• What emotion am I feeling right now? What words describe it?
• What am I feeling in my body? Any pain, tightness — or lightness, relaxation?
• How is my energy? Energised and empowered — or drained and depleted?
• How strong is this emotion, on a scale of 1 to 10?

Honour and accept the emotion you are feeling. Every emotion has a message for you.

• We often pretend nothing happened, or deny what we feel. We push it under the carpet and hope it disappears.
• Instead, accept it and express it:
  • If you are angry, tell yourself: “I am feeling angry.”
  • If you are hurt, tell yourself: “I am feeling hurt.”
• There are no good or bad emotions. Expressing them is better than carrying guilt, blame, shame or fear.
• Respecting your emotions releases pent-up energy.
• When you respect your own emotions, you can respect others’ emotions too.

Process your emotions instead of suppressing them.

Thoughts and emotions are closely connected. Past experiences shape present thinking. Present thinking shapes emotions. Together, they shape your future. Unresolved emotions become a tangled web that triggers more confusing feelings.

How to process:

• Journaling (writing down your thoughts)
• Talking to someone you trust — parent, grandparent, sibling, friend, spouse, mentor, coach, counsellor, manager
• Meditation, time in nature, solitude, reflection

Clarifying questions:

• What thoughts (people, events, past experiences) are triggering this emotion?
• What is the worst that can happen? What am I imagining?
• Reality check: how true are these thoughts — absolutely true or only conditionally true?
• What message is this emotion giving me? What need is it fulfilling?
• What do I choose to feel instead?
• How can I channel this energy so it works for me, not against me?
• Who do I need to apologise to? Who do I need to forgive — others, or myself?

When you pretend nothing happened, you bury the emotion inside. Buried emotional energy is unwanted baggage that you carry around. It:

• clouds your perception
• affects how you express yourself (free, emotional or restrained)
• affects your choices and decisions

So, after rationalising, let go of unwanted emotional energy. Say: “I consciously and willingly let go and release this emotion.”

Doing this daily frees up lots of energy, mind space and time.

Take responsibility for your emotions to improve your response-ability — your ability to choose your response. You are the boss of your mind, body and brain.

When we overreact or freak out, the brain can trigger an amygdala hijack. It is an old, instinctive response: flight, fright, fight or freeze.

• It happens in about 6 seconds, but takes hours to recover from.
• The rational, logical part of the brain shuts down. Decision-making suffers.
• Stress hormones flood the body. The whole body acts like there is an emergency.
• Long ago, this saved us from wild animals. Today, there is usually no such danger.
• Repeated amygdala hijacks cause chronic stress, long-term anxiety, wear and tear of the body, and harm health.

Common triggers: for students — every assignment, submission or deadline. At work — deliverables, deadlines, public speaking, presentations, meetings.

Lecture example — Prof. Prasanna’s stage fear Early in her career, she was an introvert with huge stage fear. She had frequent panic attacks; her mind would go blank. Many people feel the same. Instead of letting fear take over, she worked on it — rationalised the fear and took tiny steps forward to build resilience.

How to improve response-ability: meditation, journaling, deep reading, physical exercise.

Ask yourself:

• What triggers an amygdala hijack, panic, anxiety or stress in me?
• What does it feel like?
• What can I do differently in the first 6 seconds next time? Take a pause, drink a glass of water, breathe in and out a few times, or walk away for a moment.

Becoming resilient is the whole process of the first five Rs.

From the slide:

• Work towards greater self-knowledge.
• Be kind to yourself. Don’t be hard on yourself.
• Learn from your experiences. Carry the lessons forward, not the emotional baggage — rationalise and release.
• Resilience can be built. It improves your mental, physical and social health.

Everyday example Before your viva, your heart races (R1: “I’m nervous, it’s the viva”). You tell yourself it’s okay to be nervous (R2). You ask, “What’s the worst that can happen? I’ve studied” (R3). You breathe out the tension (R4). You drink water and pause before answering (R5). Next viva, it’s easier (R6).

In one line: Recognise, respect, rationalise, release, respond — and you become resilient. Exam words: 6R framework, recognise, respect, rationalise, release, response-able, resilient, triggers, amygdala hijack, flight-fright-fight-freeze, 6 seconds.