Lead Yourself from Within — Values, Spheres and Choice

Start here “Go out and lead the world; but never forget to begin by leading yourself first at home. You can’t lead the environment if you can’t lead yourself in it.” — Israelmore Ayivor (on the lecture slide)

Before you lead others, you must lead yourself. Part 1 has six lessons. This page covers the first three.

Values are what is most important and meaningful to you. They are your principles, ideals and standards — an honour code you follow even when nobody is watching.

Values shape your actions, behaviour, attitudes, decisions and choices. When you feel lost, they work like a guiding compass. They help you be your real, authentic self.

Everyone’s values are different. They come from life experiences, family, the place you grew up, and what you want from life.

Core values are the values that are non-negotiable. They inspire you to do what is right, not what is easy.

From the slide:

• Core values are non-negotiable.
• Core values are a guiding compass for individuals, groups or organisations.
• Values guide thoughts, plans, decisions, choices, actions.
• Clearly define the values of yourself, groups or organisation.
• Uphold your core values — do not compromise them.

Lecture example — Lt Col Jayakumar’s three core values

1. Honesty — there are no shades of grey. You are either honest or not.
2. Adaptability — in the army, he had to adapt to deserts and high-altitude places. His hardest change was moving from the army uniform to civilian life at IIT Madras.
3. Being responsible for his command — not just himself. A young officer leads about 30 soldiers; later, 800–1,000.

The firing practice story (Kargil, around 1998–99): During artillery practice, an observer asked to “add 800” metres. The safety officer said “drop 400” because shells might go over the hill. As officer in charge, he said: “I am responsible — fire 800.” Later, three shells landed near a village, and locals complained to the collector. He went himself to face them. Luckily, there was little damage, and red flags had warned people. His lesson: know your job and boundaries, and stand by your subordinates who acted in good faith.

Lecture example — Prof. Sivakumar: no corruption Corruption is not only about money. If a teacher does not teach properly, that is also corruption. So you must define your core values clearly.

In one line: Core values are your non-negotiable compass — do what is right, not what is easy. Exam words: values, core values, non-negotiable, guiding compass, authentic self, honour code.

Know what is in your control and what is not. Then you can focus your energy where it has the most effect. You save time, energy and mind space.

Stephen Covey (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People): when you focus on your sphere of control, your sphere of impact grows.

Lecture example — Prof. Kartic We spend hours arguing on WhatsApp about wars and politics. Can we change them? No. That is our sphere of concern. What we can control: our body, mind, food, exercise, daily learning, and how we use our time — the most precious gift. We wake up with about 12 hours of productive energy. How we use it is fully our choice.

Lecture example — Prof. Sivakumar: be proactive Many students say, “Tell me what to do.” That hands control to someone else. Instead say, “I am doing this — do you think it is okay?” Now control stays with you. This is proactiveness, and proactive people become tomorrow’s leaders. (“Be proactive” is Habit 1 in Covey’s book.)

He started intermittent fasting. People saw the change in him. When he suggested it to others, they listened — because it started with him. His control grew his influence.

Prof. Kartic also shared Steve Jobs’s view: the iPhone came from deciding what is best for the customer, not only asking what they want.

In one line: Spend most energy on what you control, some on what you can influence, and little on the rest. Exam words: sphere of control, sphere of influence, sphere of concern, Stephen Covey, proactiveness.

“We are product of neither nature nor nurture; we are a product of choice because there is always a space between stimulus and response.” — Stephen R. Covey (on the slide)

Charles Duhigg (Smarter Faster Better): to motivate ourselves, see our choices as affirmations of our values and goals, not just as control.

From the slide — you have the power of choice:

• to say YES or NO
• to explore possibilities and opportunities
• to seek support and help
• to build a support system

Choosing for yourself makes life peaceful and satisfying. But every choice has consequences, so it also brings responsibility.

Lecture example — Tapaswini (student) She was in the inter-IIT volleyball team, but had trouble sleeping all semester. At the final camp, she chose to leave the team and fix her sleep first. Her poor health would affect the whole team. She was honest with herself and the team — a choice based on her values.

Lecture example — Prof. Sivakumar as Dean of Students A dance team was sure to win, but one member was under a disciplinary action and could not take part. The team begged him. He went back to his core values: discipline and conduct matter more than winning. He said no — and explained why. Later, the students came back and said they understood. Saying no takes courage. Explaining the reason helps the other person accept it.

Everyday example Friends invite you to a late movie the night before your quiz. You can say yes or no. Either way, it is your choice — and your result.

In one line: You always have a choice in how you respond — and every choice brings responsibility. Exam words: power of choice, stimulus and response, say yes or no, seek support, support system.